If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I can't turn off my feet"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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