Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
