fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
