if you like me you must not know who I am
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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