he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
