My room smells like vodka and shame
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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