Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
