He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
