oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
