the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
