Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
