Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
