New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
