But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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