pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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