Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
