I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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