he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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