i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize