This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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