I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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