when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
