I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
