last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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