i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
