Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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