theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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