My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
