I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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