There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
