I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
