Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The beer is more important than you right now.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
