its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
