With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
