wat bout pragnant strippers??
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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