I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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