She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
