He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
