I just pynch a tree in the face
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
