Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
