I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
