I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
