i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
