i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
