When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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