apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
