If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Floor bacon is actually really good
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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