Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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