I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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