I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
